Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
