I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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