I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
