so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
