dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
