shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
