Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize