You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
