508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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