so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
