I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
