did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
