remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
