Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
