Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
