Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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