dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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