No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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