All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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