can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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