We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
