They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
