a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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