nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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