she looked like the before picture.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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