He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
