i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I won the penis lottery.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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