Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
