He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
