i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
