can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
