i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
