I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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