I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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