Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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