Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
