I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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