whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize