i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
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He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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