Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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