Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
