I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
pray to the hookup gods
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
