HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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