Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize