My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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