Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
