I need help removing her.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
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She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have fence marks all over my body