I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.