oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
