We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
