there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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