I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
