I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
