it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
