I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
