I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
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Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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