when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
