There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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