Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
