i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
